For this bizarre celebration, we can thank Thomas and Ruth Roy of Lancaster, Pa., originators of Cliche Day and more than 80 other wacky "holidays" you've never heard of. Their Web site, www.wellcat.com, urges celebration of inane non-events such as Name Your PC Day on Nov. 20 ("Binky" is already taken.), Bathtub Party Day on Dec. 5 ("recall the luxury of days gone by ... invite a few friends") and International Moment of Frustration Scream Day on Oct. 12 (sorry, you'll have to wait 'til next year).

So don't beat around the bush. Go whole hog. Don't put off 'til tomorrow what can be done today (and only today) because the early bird gets the worm and actions speak louder than words. Let's get cracking and cliche away.

According to Webster's, a cliche is an expression or idea that has become trite (worn out by constant use; lacking freshness or novelty; stale).

Ah, but terminal familiarity is what makes cliches so darn seductive. Even we newspaper folk, who ought to know better, fall prey with discouraging regularity to the urge to clich. We all know a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. And we all know what we mean when we say it. Looks like we have to throw in the towel and admit it. Cliches give us a quick and dirty way to make sure we're all on the same page.

Clichs are ingrained in our collective consciousness, practically part of our DNA. If I say, "Absence makes ...," you'll be forced to say "the heart grows fonder." If I say, "There's no place like ..." I dare you not to say "home."

Money: Can burn a hole in your pocket, then you'll be living on a shoestring budget. Someone could give a penny for your thoughts, an offer good as gold, but if you're a fool, you and your money will soon be parted and you'll lose your shirt.

Time: It flies when you're having fun and heals all wounds. You can have time on your hands and wait 'til the eleventh hour, or act in the nick of time and call it a day.

Cows: Holy cow. Sacred cow. Don't have a cow. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? (This is one of the few sex-related cliches we can print here.) Finally, stop milking a dead cow (isn't it "beating a dead horse?").

Many cliches recall our origins as people of the land. Few of us have set foot on a working farm, yet we know what it means to "put the cart before the horse" or be "madder than a wet hen."

Some cliches have obscure, old-time origins. The expression "can't hold a candle to ..." dates back pre-electricity, when apprentices to craftsmen held candles to light their workspace. Someone of inferior skills was said not to be fit to even "hold a candle" for the boss.

Not all cliches are old as dust, however. Comedians, at least one of whom is not Jerry Seinfeld, have given us "yada, yada, yada," "bada-boom, bada-bing," and the poetically apt "couch potatoes." We've all been there, done that.

Movies and books are a gold mine of contemporary cliches: Houston, we have a problem. It's a real Catch-22. Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, and frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

World leaders have unearthed some gems in recent years. People now draw lines in the sand over many things besides oil. And thanks to Saddam Hussein, we're likely to read about the "Mother of All Panty Hose Sales" in the classifieds.

Still think cliches are something to be avoided like the plague? Resistence is futile. If you can't beat 'em join 'em. And don't worry, be happy, because today is the first day of the rest of your life.

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